[recipe] SF Chocolate Avocado Paste Balls

Last month, when I was reading I breathe... I'm hungry, I ran into this very awkward yet interesting recipe. It takes your standard bourbon truffle and substitutes avocado to make it creamy. So I got three avocados and stuck them in my 5 dozen egg carton to ripen for a couple of weeks (still not enough -_-) and got to mixing everything (except the nuts) until creamy, then folding in the pecans.

2 ripe avocados

2 T coconut oil

1/2 C premium cocoa powder

1 T Splenda

2 T SF chocolate syrup

2 T heavy whipping cream

1/2 t vanilla extract

1/2 t almond extract

1/2 C chopped pecans

It is very important that the avocados really are as ripe as possible, without starting to rot. Judging by the ingredients she uses, I'm guessing the writer of the other blog lives in a warmer climate, prone to all the good produce I miss.

Unfortunately, mine still were a bit green, highly influencing the taste. I tried to counteract this by increasing the Splenda to 1 T and adding vanilla and almond extracts.

Another substitution, which I doubt worked, was SF chocolate syrup (Walmart brand Hershey's knockoff) instead of SF chocolate flavored syrup (Torani). I bought one that was caramel flavored last month that I really didn't like, so I didn't feel like filling my pantry with yet another subpar bottle just to use two tablespoons. This might not have been an ideal substitution, either, as it was quite bitter.

Next time, I want to try eliminating the syrup and adding some more cream, Splenda and extract to compensate. And riper avocados :/

Also, I went the lazy route and just left it in the mixer bowl to be eaten with a spoon ^_^

Makes 12 portions, each with:

111 cals, 10 g fat, 4.5 g carbs (3 g fiber), 1.5 g protein

[recipe] Cauli-pizza Mash

Last night I made the yummiest healthy thing by accident! I took a head of cauliflower (5 cups?), boiled it a bit, then tossed it in the food processor with:

- 1/2 C ricotta

- 2 t California Sun Dry Julienne Cut Tomatoes with herbs

- 1 oz grated parmesan cheese

- 1 oz pepperoni

That's it! The tomatoes I used, though, were packed in oil with some herbs, making it taste exactly like pizza. Stupidly yummy.

Nutritional facts for the whole thing:

Ricotta - 216 cals, 16 g fat, 4 g carb, 14 g protein

Tomatoes - 30 cals, 3 g fat, 3 g carb, <1 g protein

Parmesan - 120 cals, 9 g fat, 6 g carb, 12 g protein

Pepperoni - 138 cals, 12 g fat, 6 g protein

Cauliflower - 140 cals, 30 g carb, 10 g protein

TOTAL - 644 cals, 40 g fat, 43 g carb (only 10 g being fiber), 42 g protein

[recipe] Low-carb Chocolate Crepe Cake

This is the second recipe I take from I Breathe... I'm Hungry, originally intended as a low carb red velvet cake. Yes, presentation is nice and all, but sometimes you just want to eat your damned cake! So instead of assembling the layers, we just plated them with a dollop of the cream and devoured.

CREPES

6 oz cream cheese (1/3 less fat)

5 eggs

1/4 cup Sugar Free Hershey's Chocolate Syrup

2 TBSP cocoa powder

1 tsp Splenda

1/2 tsp red food coloring (not used)

Blend well and pour onto a parchment lined cookie sheet. Bake at 350F for 15 minutes or until dry. Let cool.

CREAM

2 oz cream cheese

10 oz heavy cream

2 tsp vanilla

1 TBSP Splenda

Whip 8 oz of the heavy cream until stiff peaks form, incorporating the splenda and vanilla. In a separate bowl, combine the cream cheese and remaining cream until smooth, and fold into whipped cream.

Once the crepes are baked, cut into 12 squares (or use a large cup and cut out circles). If you plan on making a cake, alternate crepes with about a TBSP of the cream and make all pretty. If you need your chocolate fix before you stab someone, place a square on your plate with a dollop of cream and eat!

NUTRITIONAL INFO:

Cream Cheese: 560 cals, 16g carb, 48g fat, 16g protein, 16g sugar

Eggs: 350 cals, 25g fat, 30g protein

Hershey's Syrup: 30 cals, 10g carb

Cocoa powder: 25 cals, 6g carb, 1g fat, 2g protein

Cream: 1000 cals, 100g fat

Total Calories: 1965 (328 each)

Carbs: 32g (5g)

Fat: 174g (29g)

Protein: 48g (8g)

Sugar: 16g (3g)

When presenting in not-cake form, it is much easier to cut out a whole bunch of the cream.

CREPES ONLY

Calories: 825 (138)

Carbs: 28g (5g)

Fat: 57g (10g)

Protein: 44g (7g)

Sugar: 12g (2g)

[recipe] Very low carb Buffalo Balls

Meat is good! Spicy meat is better! Spicy meat in convenient balls is best!

I found a wonderful blog called I Breathe... I'm Hungry with several good keto recipes, one of them for Buffalo Balls. This is a very simple concept: you make turkey meatballs and cover them in buffalo sauce, and they are awesome! Her sauce is just butter and Frank's, so of course Dan had to improve on it.

MEATBALLS

1 lb ground turkey

2 oz cream cheese, softened (1/3 less fat)

2 eggs

2 TBSP finely minced celery

3 TBSP crumbled cheese (blue is requested, but I used parmesan)

1/2 tsp black pepper

Mix together, ball up, and bake at 350 F for 10 minutes (15 if you are paranoid with poultry like me). Makes two dozen.

SAUCE

3 oz super sharp cheddar, finely sliced

6 oz cream cheese

1 TBSP butter

3 TBSP minced garlic

1/4 cup Frank's Red Hot

Dip balls or spoon sauce on top, and bake for another 10 minutes.

If you are using the original Frank's + butter sauce, she recommends dipping the balls and letting the sauce caramelize on top. But since this version has so much cheese, it was more like a nice and thick frosting.

NUTRITIONAL INFO

Turkey: 776 cal, 43g fat, 90g protein

Cream Cheese: 448 cal, 32g fat, 16g sugar, 16g protein

Cheddar: 339 cal, 27g fat, 21g protein

Parmesan: 66 cal, 3g fat, 6g protein

Eggs: 140 cal, 10g fat, 2g sugar, 12g protein

Butter: 100 cal, 11g fat

Garlic: 40 cal, 9g carb, 0g sugar, 3g protein

Frank's: salt!

Total: 1909 calories (80 each ball)

126 g fat (5.25 g each)

148 g protein (6.17 g each)

21 g absorbable carbs (0.875 g each)

I probably shouldn't have eaten eight in one breath.

Pennsic XL

This year was a blast! I was very insecure to sign up, since prereg was around when I was at my most depressed, but I'm very glad I managed to suck it up and jump head first anyway.

Due to Otakon being just a week before, I didn't have time to get into the groove until very late. I was very lucky to find dabasque on Odd Ducks and have her walk me through so many details of basque clothing! Unfortunately, I had trouble translating it to real life. I spent monday crying in my room because I couldn't manage to make a pattern from scratch and get it to work for me by myself. Luckily, my friend Nicole helped me on wednesday and we got a really good mock up. Thursday was spent making the dress out of the mockup, and I'm very happy with how it turned out, except that I left too much allowance for the seams that I didn't take up, and the bodice ended up being an inch or two too big. Meh, it still worked!

Friday I went home early from work and packed and finished things up, before going to game at Nicole's. I finally finished my Tilting TARDIS shawl, which took me a whole week to bind off -_-;; and then woke up at 6:30 am to make up two chemises and a pair of linen bloomers. OMG, dabasque was so right! I wore my biker shorts one day, which I wear on a regular basis under skirts, and felt completely swamped. Linen bloomers, though, were amazing!

Bad flash is bad.

I think I lucked out this year with classes. Rumor has it that they want to make Pennsic XLI Spanish themed, so I got to take six or seven classes about Spanish clothing of the 13c and 16c, along with Visigoth lettering. Someone suggested to that teacher (Doña Violante de Sant Sebastian) that she should teach a class on abbreviations next year, and I think she should also teach one on words of Moorish origin. dabasque, also known as Josefina del Torre, was going to teach a class on alpargatas, but had family health issues and had to cancel. I was very excited for that class, and I will definitely find a way to shake it out of her!

Things I purchased:
A Uniquely You memory foam dress form which I had been lusting over for three years. I am so excited to finally be able to make clothes without having to beg for people to pin me in.
Two period dress patterns and reeds to make a verduguera.


Two mead kits, again, which I better use this time!
A bowl and mug from Charlie, cephalogal's potter on retainer.
A custom ~morion helmet!!! I am so excited to finally get back into fighting! Well, once I get it in a few months.

I controlled myself and didn't buy a $240 carved wood chest, which was awesome and had a skeleton laying on the lid. But I just might next year... Along with a canvas tent.

Clone me!

So, every swap I'm in always asks for the oddest measurements. I also tend to sew some odd things, so I'm going to take a bunch of measurements, starting from the top!

HEAD
Hat band = 58 cm
Head band = 40 cm
Neck circumference = 35 cm
Neck lenght = 10 cm

BODY
Shoulders, flat (front) = 45 cm
Shoulders, around = 106 cm
Over chest = 98 cm
Chest (with bra) = 106 cm
Nipple to nipple = 20 cm
Under breast = 90 cm
Natural waist = 87 cm
Pants waist = 101 cm
Clavicle to breast = 22 cm
Clavicle to navel = 44 cm
Back of neck to natural waist = 34 cm

ARMS
Shoulder to elbow = 33 cm
Elbow to wrist = 28 cm
Sleeve = 65 cm
Arm pit up = 45 cm
Arm pit around = 31 cm
Wrist = 17 cm

HAND
Wrist to fingers = 10 cm
Middle finger = 8 cm
Around hand and thumb = 23 cm
Around hand, under thumb = 19 cm
Inner thumb length = 6 cm
Pinky length = 5.5 cm

LEGS
Hips = 100 cm
Thigh = 59 cm
Mid thigh = 53 cm
Knee = 37 cm
Calf = 40 cm
Ankle = 22.5 cm
Wide ankle = 29 cm
Bridge of foot = 24 cm
Ball of foot = 22 cm
Print length = 25 cm
Floor to knee = 48 cm
Knee to hip = 44 cm
Floor to mid thigh = 67 cm
Floor to widest calf = 32 cm

Did I miss anything?

[recipe] Black Bean Mocha Brownies

I tried out this recipe I found about a month ago on 101 Cookbooks. It has the benefit of being free of wheat, and most everybody liked them, but I think most people are addicted to coffee a lot more than I am.

4 ounces unsweetened chocolate (slab or powder)
1 cup unsalted butter
2 cups soft-cooked black beans, drained well (canned is fine)
1 cup walnuts, chopped
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
¼ cup (granulated) natural coffee substitute (or instant coffee, for gluten-sensitive)
¼ teaspoon sea salt
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4 large eggs
1½ cups light agave nectar (works just the same as honey)

Melt chocolate with the butter. Then blend the first list of ingredients in a food processor until smooth. Whip up the eggs with the nectar and incorporate half of the mixture into the bean batter.

Line a cookie sheet (with walls) with parchment paper and spread with the mixture. Pour the remaining egg and honey on top and run a toothpick through for a marbling effect. Bake at 325 for 30-45 minutes. Let cool and set before cutting.

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Now, like I said, everybody loved them, except for me and Dan. But neither of us really drink coffee. Next time, I plan on using only a bit of the instant coffee instead, since the chocolate is already bitter. I'm also going to try some other sweetener (probably plain light brown sugar), since the agave nectar was ridiculously sweet. There was a very odd dynamic between the bitter and the sweet, where they seemed to accentuate each other, instead of mellowing themselves out.

Also, they had a great consistency, though I wasn't completely sure they were cooked enough, and you really can't tell they are made of beans unless someone tells you.